Why U2 Really Is "The Best Band in the World"

He's about to say something important. Pay close attention.

Misadventures in fashion and photography.

That's right, music fans: I'm back by popular demand. However, in the interest of experimenting and staying fresh, I'm going to give things a twist. So, today I'll be defending famous artists, rather than slandering them. Now, I know what you're thinking, and it goes something like this: "But wait a minute! U2 sucks! They couldn't rock a baby's cradle during an earthquake!"

"The Best Band in the World"

U2 is the best band in the entire world – just ask them, they'll tell you (scroll down in the link for a direct quote).

After all, it's not like U2 needs to rely heavily on pre-programmed electronics to distract the listener from fundamentally uninspiring musicianship, or grandiose visual displays to create an artificial sense of showmanship during performances. Do they?

And even if they did, it wouldn't matter as long as it sounds good, right? As long as it rocks - and they do rock. Right?

Besides, they keep selling records, and you know what they say: "50,000,000 Elvis(-wannabe) Fans Can't be Wrong." Popularity is the ultimate measure of quality: I defy you to show me a single example of an important artist who failed to achieve commercial success during his lifetime.

Beyond the "Music"

Not content to change the face of popular music, U2 has moved on to saving the world itself. Mostly, this seems to involve awkward photo ops and very silly sunglasses, but I'm confident there's some kind of bigger picture we're all missing. In fact, it's probably a measure of their influence that they can save the world without actually solving any problems.

Think of it like Woodstock: the hippies fixed the military-industrial complex, soulless value-cheapening commercialism, crushing economic injustice, and violent international strife, didn't they? And they did it with sex, drugs, and rock and roll!

U2 has known of their greatness since the beginning, too – just look at the expressions on their faces in 1980. I know you're thinking, "That look screams douchebaggery," but it also whispers, "We're the most important people in the universe. We know it, and so should you, for your own good."

Hey, what do you expect from a band that was once known as "The Hype"? Really, the music was just a means to an end.

What – you didn't think I'd actually defend them, did you? U2 sucks!

Cross-posted from the new ListenInMusic.com.

© 2007 Evan Mix for Listen In. Some rights reserved.

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